Chapter Thirty-Three

A Barrier Broken by a Kiss

 

Rose leaned against the headboard, as she looked over the window. Rain poured down, causing for the day to become more gloomy and more stressful. Rose sighed, as she shifted into a comfortable position, taking her diary from under the pillow. Bending her knees, Rose placed the diary against her legs, where she took out a pen and began writing.

 

6/15/12

 

Dear Diary,
 

Here I am, sitting in the guest room of Annies apartment, writing as the rain is pouring outside. I feel depressed, hurt, betrayed, lonely, and most of all, love. Every time I look back to that day that Jack had kissed another woman, I feel my heart break in two, for I never came to think that Jack would ever hurt me so much. I had thought he loved me. That I was the only one for him. But it seems as if I am wrong. Seems that Jack had found another woman to share his life with.
 

Im not sure if our marriage is going to last. As every day goes by, I have come to think if I should annul the marriage. That I should end my relationship with Jack, altogether. I cant help but feel pain enveloping my heart as I think of the day where Jack had betrayed me. The day where he had hurt and killed me. The day where my heart broke and shattered into millions of pieces. That, was four days ago. Four painful days ago, without Jack. Without the man I love.
 

Im not really sure what I feel anymore, for my heart still tells me that I love him. That hes the only one for me. That nobody in the world would ever come close as to being Jack Dawson. The fine artist that I have met on the Titanic. On the ship where our lives changed forever. But I cant find myself to forgive him, for my mind tells me that I should leave him, and forget him. My mind is telling me that he betrayed me, and if I go back to him, he might betray me again, and I know I cant live through the pain again. Not after what happened.
 

I think of our child. The little creature that is growing inside of me at this very moment. I dont want my child to be fatherless, as I have been for the past year of my life. I want my child to be able to run into Jacks arms and call him daddy and say that he/she loves him. But right now, it seems as if that will never happen. I just cant seem to find myself to forgive him. To go back to him and say that everything is okay. I feel as if I am two people, locked up in one body, and one is telling me to go back to him, and the other is telling me to stay where I am. Which one should I obey?
 

My conscience is telling me to stay, and my heart is telling me to go. To go back to him and love him again. To be able to be in his arms and feel the warmth of his body against mine. Oh, how I long to be in his arms and just love him. Act as if nothing has happened, but I know that it wont happen. I just cant go and forgive him. The pain is still in my heart and the minute that I would look at him, I know the hurt and betrayal would return to me and cause for me to feel more pain and more loneliness.
 

I have been lonely for the past four days that have passed, and I found myself wishing that I could end this all, and the minute I try, I fall back into reality, and realize that nothing and no one would ever erase this pain in my heart. Sometimes I wish that I have never met himthat I never fell in love with him at all. As much as I hate to say this, sometimes I wish I were married to Cal. I wouldve been better off with him, if Ive known Jack would cause so much pain in my life.
 

Today is Annies nineteenth birthday, and were going to have a small party, here at her apartment. One thing concerns me. Jack might be here as well, and if he is, Im definitely going to lock myself in the guest room and not come out until the partys over. I just cant confront him now. Not now. Not after my heart has healed from some of the pain. This is really killing me, knowing that I wont ever love again, or at least I hope to never love again. Not after what Jack has done to me. To our marriage.
 

Well, Im going to the park, to get some fresh air. I havent been out of this apartment for the past four days, and I believe some outside air would so me some good. Maybe relieve some of the stress that has been burdened on my shoulders. I just hope that Im left alone and not bothered. One thingI hope I dont run into Jack as I go for my walk. That would only make my day even worse and cause for my heart to ache more and for me to feel more pain. I just hope that Im left alone.
        

 Rose

 

Rose shut her diary, and set her pen on the nightstand beside her. She hadnt even bothered signing in her last name, for she felt she hadnt needed to. She was still upset with Jack, and putting the name Dawson would only make her think of Jack once more and only cause for her to cry once more. Rose had slid her diary under her pillow and got up from the bed. She smoothed out the wrinkles on her yellow dress, which came to be a little past her knees and was low-cut. The sleeves were short, showing off her smooth, pale arms. Her loose curls caused for her too appear more beautiful and young. Taking a deep breath, Rose walked out of the guest room and into the parlor room, where she headed towards the front closet. She took out a light jacket and an umbrella before closing the closet door. As she slipped on the jacket, Annie emerged from the kitchen.
 

Where are you going? Annie asked, as she watched Rose buttoning up the jacket.
 

Out, Rose said. I need some fresh air.
 

Okay, Annie said. But its raining out.
 

I know, Rose said, straightening up. Which is why Im bringing an umbrella.
 

Rose, are you sure you want to go out? Annie said. In this weather?
 

Annie, its just rain, Rose said. Its not like its a thunderstorm or anything.
 

I know, but Im just worried about you, Rose, Annie said. Youve been depressed for the past four days, and all Ive been hearing was why did Jack do this to me, or I love Jack, I do, but I cant find myself to forgive him. Rose, youre hurting yourself, without even realizing it. Annie said, concerning shining in her eyes.
 

Annie, Im fine, Rose said, feeling her heart sink as she mentioned Jack. Really. Im just going for a stroll, and Ill be back in a little while. I promise, Rose said, closing her eyes, as she remembered when she said those same exact words to Jack on the night where they couldve died. Shaking her head, Rose looked up. Ill be back, okay? I-Im going to be fine.
 

Annie sighed, and nodded her head. Okay, Annie said. But be careful. I dont want anything to happen to you.
 

Ill be fine, Annie, really, Rose said. You worry too much. Sometimes you sound just like Rose paused as she looked down, as she bit her lower lip. She looked back up and straightened her back. W-well, Ill b-be back. Happy birthday, Annie.
 

Thanks, Annie said, her voice soft, yet cheerful. She watched as Rose disappeared in the hallway, pulling the door closed behind her. Annie shook her head sadly and fell on the couch, where she just sat and thought to herself.

 

     ***

 

Jack slouched on the sofa as he carelessly flipped through the newspaper. Jack had been depressed for the past four days and hadnt eaten a thing. He only drank beverages, but hadnt had the appetite to eat food, which caused for him to grow more skinny and weak. His eyes roamed over the words that were printed on the paper, hardly even digesting what he was reading. Jack swung his blonde hair out of his eyes as his blue eyes, which shone with gloominess and hurt, stared down at the paper.
 

Fabrizio had gotten a job as a waiter at an Italian restaurant, with much luck. Fabrizio was also a cook at the restaurant, for he knew some traditional Italian recipes, that his mother, Lucia, had passed down to him when he was young. He memorized and treasured those recipes with his heart and was happy for Americans to be able to taste the delicious food that he had grown up with. Fabrizio also had become a citizen. Something that meant a lot to him. He was hoping to become a citizen of America, ever since he met Jack, and now he had reached his goal in becoming an American citizen. To Fabrizio, life was everything he ever wanted it to be, but to Jack, life was falling apart, and without Rose, he might never be the same Jack that Fabrizio had once known.
 Jack threw the paper on the coffee table, as he remained in the slouched position. After a few moment, Jack repositioned himself, and sat properly, as he gazed around the room. His portfolio lay on the coffee table, open, with drawings exposed and scattered all over the coffee table. The drawings were of Rose. She had never left his mind for the past four days of her absence. Getting up from the couch, Jack went towards the front closet and took his jacket out, and slipped it on. Not even bothering to grab an umbrella, he pulled the door open and went out into the hallway, only to be found one foot away from Rose.

 

     ***

 

Rose pulled the door closed behind her after leaving Annies apartment. Rose let out a frustrated sigh, as one of her curls landed over her eye. Setting her umbrella beside the door, Rose slipped her hand in her jacket pocket and pulled out a ribbon. Pulling her hair into a ponytail, Rose took the ribbon and tied it around her curls, securing them together. When she made sure that the bow she made secured her curls, Rose bent down and picked up the umbrella, as she was just about to head over the staircase when she heard the door across from her open. Rose paused and straightened her back, as her eyes became cautious and her breathing irregular. That door that was across from her, was the door that she had walked out from four days ago, leaving her husband behind. Rose held back her tears, as she watched the door open slowly. Her hands began to tremble, as she held onto the handle of the umbrella, and she felt the brisk beating of her heart, thumping against her ribcage.
 

Rose watched as the door was opened fully, revealing the person who opened it. Rose closed her eyes, as she already began to feel tears well up. About a foot away from her, stood Jack Dawson. The man that she had grown to loathe, but had some adoration towards, and the man that she was married to. The man that fathered her child. The man that had betrayed her and caused for her to feel emotionally hurt and anguished. Roses eyes remained glued on the floor, for she was not planning on communicating with him, for she still felt pain and betrayal lingering in her heart. She heard him shift from one foot to another, as a sigh escaped his lips. Rose managed to steal a few glances as she noticed how skinny Jack had gotten and how pale he looked. Also, his eyes were red, as if he has been crying for the past hour. Rose swallowed down a sob, and let out a shaky breath, as her trembling hands grasped onto the handle of the umbrella she held. She felt a lump form in her throat, and tried to swallow it away, only to find herself letting out a sob. She brought a hand towards her face and covered her eyes as her tears began falling down her cheeks.
 

Oh, Jack Rose cried, as the umbrella was dropped to the floor. Her other hand went on her lower abdomen, as her body shook in sobs. She felt arms go around her, and she tensed. It was as if Jacks touch had burned her skin, instead of caressing it, as he was. IIyoupleaseI
 

Shhh, Jack said, holding her close. Rose shook her head and placed her hand over his chest.
 

Rose gently pushed him away from her, as she lowered her head. A sob escaped her lips, as she placed a hand over her mouth.
 

J-Jack, I-II c-cant forgive you, Rose cried, tears rushing down her cheeks. I-I just cant. Not nowI still feel the painthe betrayal
 

Rose, Jack said, firmly, but calmly, as his blue eyes shone with hope and hurt. Cant you just let me explain? Please? Jack asked, looking down at her. Ive been desperate without you. I-I cant live without you, Rose, dont you understand? As every minute goes by without you by my side, I feel as if Im breaking apart.
 

How do you think I feel? Rose asked, looking up. Do you think Im enjoying this? That Im happy to not be by your side? To not be in your warm embrace? Rose looked down and sighed. Jack, Her eyes went back on him. You hurt me, really bad. And it still hurts, Jack. My heart still aches, and every time I look or think of you, I see you kissing thatthat woman!
 

Jack closed his eyes, as he let out a frustrated sigh. Rose, she KISSED me! I had nothing to do with it! Jack said, raising his voice.
 

Oh, really? Rose said, her voice raising as well. So, you call kissing back a person, and pulling her close to you, nothing? You had everything to do with it, Mr. Dawson, every little bit! And to think that you loved me. Rose said, hugging herself as she sadly lowered her head.
 

Rose, Jack said, placing his hands on her forearms gently, and when he felt her try to wiggle out of his hold, he tightened his grip a bit, and looked her in the eye, firmly and lovingly. I love you. I love you more than anything in this world. I would never betray you. Never.
 

Well, you did! Rose cried, her eyes shining with hurt. You did Her eyes lowered, as she glanced down at their feet.
 

Jack sighed, and lifted her chin with his finger, forcing her to look into his eyes.

 

Rosepleasejust let me explain. Let me tell you what happened. Give me a chanceplease, Rose. Please. Jack begged, as his eyes were on her.
 

Jack Rose said, her eyes looking around uneasily.
 

Please, Rosejust one chance to explain. Im begging you! Jack said, his eyes shining with plead and hope. Please
 

Rose sighed, and closed her eyes, to prevent tears from flowing. As she opened her eyes, she stared into Jacks finding that his once laughing azure colored eyes, were now shining with hurt and forgiveness. She swallowed back as sob, and finally gave up, as she nodded her head slightly.
 

Jack let out a sigh of relief. Thank God Jack whispered. He cleared his throat and looked into her eyes. Rose, I
 

Just as he was about to explain himself, they heard a womans voice. A voice that Jack hadnt wanted to hear. Not now. Not while hes trying to get Roses forgiveness. He closed his eyes shut, and ran his fingers through his hair.
 

Jack, The womans voice rang out in the halls, as the clicking of her shoes were heard. Oh, Jackie boy!
 

Jack looked up, finding Kristen walking up towards them, with a sly smile on her face. Her ebony colored hair flew past her back, as her long legs led her through the hallway, and beside Jack.
 

Kristen, what are you doing here? Jack asked, frustration hinted in his voice.
 

Oh, Jack, Jack, Jack, Kristen said, moving closer to him. I have forgiven you for what youve done to me at the park, and Im willing to give you another chance.
 

Another chance? Jack asked, growing angry. What do you mean another chance?
 

What I mean is that I want you to be mine, Kristen said, her hands going up his arm.
 

Rose became infuriated as she watched Kristen touch her husband. She clenched her hands into fists, as her teeth were clasped together angrily. She gazed into Kristens eyes as she felt her heart beat angrily.
 

Get your hands off of my husband!! Rose said, bitterly.
 

Kristen looked over at Rose, her eyes shining with revenge and anger.
 

Well, well, well, Kristen said, letting go of Jack. I see youre the little wife that Jack has been talking about. Kristen stepped closer to Rose, a mischievous smile upon her face. Hmmm, Jack is right. You are beautiful. And very attractive Ill say.
 

You get away from me, or Ill Rose said, glaring at her angrily.
 

Or youll what? Kristen asked. Youre gonna cry? Kristen suddenly felt a pair of strong hands grip onto her shoulder, whirling her around.
 

You leave Rose alone, Jack warned, pointing angrily at her. She is in a fragile condition, and if you ever cause her more hurt again, youll be sorry.
 

Ill be sorry, huh? Kristen said, looking down. And just exactly what am I going to be sorry for? Kristen asked, looking up at him.
 

Everything, Jack said. Youll be sorry you ever met me.
 

Kristen chuckled. Sorry for ever meeting you? Oh, my Jack, youre so funny. I love you. I love you more than Rose ever could. Kristen said, her voice soft and flirtatious.
 

Jack just shook his head. Kristen, dont you understand? Jack said, clenching his teeth. I dont love you. Never have, never will.
 

Kristen just stood up straight, her eyes shining with anger, hurt, and revenge.
 

How could you do this to me? Kristen asked, tears shining in her eyes. How could you hurt me like this? For two years, I have loved you. For two years!
 

Im sorry, Kristen, Jack said, as he shook his head sadly. I havent meant to hurt you or anything, butI love Rose. Always will. No one will ever replace her.
 

Tears spilled down Kristens cheek. And just how long have you known her? Kristen asked, looking up. Before you married?
 

Jack sighed. Three days, Jack said.
 

A chuckle escaped her lips. Three days?! Kristen shouted. Youve only known Rose for THREE days!
 

Kristen Jack began.
 

No, Jack, Kristen said, shaking her head. Dont say anything, Kristen looked over at Rose, then back at Jack. Seems to me that you wont ever understand my feelings for you.
 

Kristen, what feelings?! Jack said, raising up his arms, in exasperation. You never loved me the way Rose does. You never showed me what the word love really means. All you ever did was just stick by my side and brag to your friends that I was your boyfriend, Jack said, his eyes shining with frustration. Kristen, thats not love. Thats just pretending youre in love. But Im not pretending. Not with Rose. I love her to death, and even beyond that. Please, understand that.
 

Rose just stood there, as she watched Jack argue with Kristen. For the past four days, she had thought that Jack hadnt loved her. Rose felt guilt and regret for what she had done to him. For what she had caused him to feel. She hadnt wanted to hurt him. She never had meant to hurt him that way. Tears began to well up in her eyes, as she brought a hand to cover them. Her heart began to flutter within her ribcage as she felt her heart fill with regret and guilt. A soft cry escaped her lips, as her body shook in her heart-wrenching sobs.
 

Jack turned, finding Rose in tears. His heart began to break once more as he saw Rose in this state. He hated to see her cry. To see her in tears from a broken heart. Jack wished that Kristen never kissed him. That he hadnt agreed to go to the park with her. Most of all, he wished he never stepped into the bar, for he would not have bumped into Kristen and then they would not be in this situation at this moment. He looked over at Kristen, finding her in tears, then watched as his wife shed her tears. Jack took a few steps closer to Rose and placed his arms around her, pulling her close to his chest.
 

Shhh, Jack whispered in her ear, as his hand gently caressed her curls. Everything will be okayI promise.
 

Well, Kristen said, her voice choked. I-Im gonna go now. Seems to me that you two are busy. Kristen turned and left. She stopped about five feet from them before turning back around. Youll be sorry, Jack. Sure as hell, youll be sorry.
 

Jack had paid no attention whatsoever towards what Kristen was saying, for he was too caught up into comforting his wife. Hoping to win her forgiveness after what Kristen had done to both of them. Within minutes, he heard the clicking of her shoes disappear down the stairs, leaving him to his beloved Rose.
 

Im sorry, Rose, Jack whispered, hugging her close. Im so sorry I did this to you Jack felt tears slide down his cheek as he breathed in the scent of her gorgeous red curls.
 

Rose shook her head, as she pulled away. She felt Jack cringe against her fingertips, his eyes shining with hurt and regret.
 

No, Jack, Rose said, her voice soft. Tears gently slid down her cheeks. Im the one who should be sorry. I never gave you a chance to explain. I-I shouldve let you talk, but instead I was being so stubborn, and Rose felt his forefinger land upon her lips.
 

Shhh, Jack said, a small smile coming upon his face. His fingers went onto her cheek, and through her curls. Everything will be all right now everything will be all right nowI promise. Jack pressed his lips onto her curls and hugged her closer.
 

Rose lifted her head and glanced into his ocean-blue eyes.
 

Im so sorry Jack, Rose said, tears glittering her emerald-blue eyes. I didnt mean to hurt you. Im so sorryplease forgive meI love you. I love you so muchplease
 

Rose Jack said, as he tried to get her attention.
 

Im sorryplease, JackIm sorry Rose cried.
 

Rose! Jack said, as he placed both hands upon her face. His blue eyes shone with love that Rose had never seen before. It was as if she had first met him. As if she were falling in love with him all over again. As if fate was giving them a third chance in love. Rose, I love you more than anything in this world. Nothing and no one will ever break us apartI promiseyou are everything to me. Youre everything I ever wanted you to be.
 

JackI love youI love youI love you, Jack, I love you so much, Rose said, as she clutched onto his shirt, and buried her face into his chest. I love you
 

Rose, Jack said, lifting her chin with his finger. I love you too. More than words could ever describe, and more than life itself. I love you Rose. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing. And no one.
 

A smile came upon her face, as she pulled Jack into a tight, loving embrace.
 

I love you Rose whispered as tears spilled down her cheeks.
 

Jack lifted her chin once more and gazed into her eyes with love and passion. He leaned his face towards her, until he could feel her warm breath against his lips. His rough fingers grazed against the tenderness of her skin, as his fingertips brushed against her curls. Within seconds, his lips were pressed against hers, as the two intently shared a passionate kiss. A kiss that hadnt been shared within four days of their separation. Within four days of hurt and agony. All the four days that had caused them pain and regret, was now sealed with a kiss. A kiss that had erased all the troubles and all the hurt that has been caused within their lives. A kiss that would last forever, and beyond that. A kiss that had broken the barrier that had been formed around Roses hearta barrier that had told her she would never love againnever trust again, was put down by that one kiss from her beloved Jack. Her savior, yet again.

Chapter 34